Dunkin on that Reindeer

Nothing puts me in that christmas spirit like the Nike commercial with LeBron, Kobe & Santa



Wake up in the Mornin feelin like P.Diddy

Hey People!
{loooong time no see}

Lots of things have been happening around here lately, hence the lack of communication. At lease now you know I'm alive.

Okay, where to begin... with a list I suppose, because I love them :)    Here's a glimpse of my December in no particular order...
  • No goals for December- So much to do and soooo little time. I guess the only goal was to make it out alive.
  • I sorta got promoted at work? I've been handling accounts receivable which basically means: sit at my desk and try not to stab myself with a letter opener because it sucks so bad. Actually, what I'm really responsible for is rent entry (over 1,600 units), collections, eviction, calls, sending out all different kinds of notices, and sooo much more. It's completely overwhelming because well, I only have 2 hands. I say its only a kind of promotion because I got no financial compensation. My bosses are dickheads {pardon my french} and keep telling me that I have to go through a trial period to see if I'm a good fit for the position- translation: we don't want to pay you any more money for as long as we possible can. Needless to say I'm frustrated, angry, slacking off because i'm frustrated and angry, bitter, pissed off- you probably get it. The best part is its a mess- NO ORGANIZATION- and I'm supposed to fit it for $9 an hour. Yep, FUCK YOU.
  • On to Happier things... R and I recently made an addition to our family! We now have a very large orange cat. A few Sundays ago, R woke up and decided he wanted a kitten. I made a face {picture yourself trying to eat a lemon... it looked like that} I'm allergic to cats, and I generally dislike them. After talking about it all morning, I finally caved. We stopped at the local animal shelter and fell in love with 2 adorable kittens ($75 per kitten) that were both under foster care, which means that their adoption would have to be approved by their "foster parents". We filled out applications for the kitties and we told the foster moms that we were planning on buying a house. They were concerned the kittens would be put under alot of stress with the move and blah blah blah. While they didn't deny us, they successfully pissed me off-- which resulted in another big FUCK YOU. Instead of dealing with those idiots, we went to the APL, which had no kittens... mostly adult cats. We walked around and I fell in love with Maze- 3 year old orange long haired tabby with me most beautiful golden eyes. Hes mellow, sweet, soft, smells good, basically amazing. The APL prolifes all their animals and he's classified as a "personal assistant" which is exactly how I would describe him. Did I mention he cost us $20?  Suck on That Parma Animal Shelter.
  • We didn't send out Christmas Cards because I was too lazy to write them out, and because I still haven't done our wedding thank you's (bad bad bad) Call me the grinch, I guess.
  • Christmas shopping is complete! Coolest gift I bought for someone this year: Twilight and New Moon in POLISH for Hanna (my mom) She's been talking about seeing the movies, but everyone knows the books are better! They are en route from a Polish bookstore in Chicago as we speak :)
  • I still have a ton of baking to do today :(
  • Somewhere in between last Christmas and present I acquired some serious gift wrapping skills, big improvement from last years gifts... they looked pretty terrible.
  • IM LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB-- hire me!
  • I hearby advise everyone not to waste money on college.... you'll never be able to afford your student loans-- anyone know a someone whose still consolidating?
  • I've gotten really fat since the wedding... absolutely no modivation to change it, just disgust when I look in the mirror.
  • I need to write more in Jan.
  • If you have the opportunity to make your own wine, do it- soo much fun!
  • I really really really want a house, and all my bills to disappear.
I think that about covers it.
Miss you all and talk to you very soon!


Tuesday To-Do's

  1. Cook a fab dinner- Tuscan Chicken w. Rice & Green Beans
  2. Take dogs on walk
  3. Help mom with her online work stuff
  4. Blog about the award I got forever ago
  5. Make chocolate covered pretzels
  6. Sweep/vaccum/mop floors in apt
  7. Do all dishes
  8. Drink some tea
  9. Relax in Japenese Cherry Blossom scented bubble bath
  10. Finish watching Ratatouille
  11. Wait patiently for Christmas to come!


I checked into rehab

Gamers Rehab that is.

You may have noticed my lack of posting-- thats because I was too busy harvesting, feeding, & cooking.

Over the past few weeks, I haven't been reading, blogging/commenting, cleaning, drawing, making, decorating, or spending time with my men (dogs included) BECAUSE I became addicted not only to farmville, but also to fishville & cafe world! Read about it here.

I totally blame my best friends sister myself for releasing the demon within.

Today at exactly 10:17 p.m. I came to terms with my addiction and decided to quit cold turkey.
And just so you take me seriously heres my facebook status (because everyone knows if its not on facebook...its not official)

'Facebook games have taken over my life(pathetic)-- therefore, I HEREBY OFFICIALLY PURGE MYSELF FROM EVERYTHING ZYNGA AFFILIATED.' 


{about a min after I published this, I got 4 farmville gift requests.. which I did NOT accept}

And there you have it... I just cleared up about six hours in my schedule (okay that's me exaggerating- I hope)   



November 09 Recap

  • Send out wedding thank you's. Complete Failure :(
  • Read 3 books. Success! I read: New Moon, The Historian, & Hunted (a House of Night series #5)
  • Get back into the morning routine. We are back to our usual schedule, although I will admit that I occasionally cheat the alarm clock and hit the snooze ;)
  • Eat Breakfast every morning.  I did okay with this. it wasn't an everyday thing like I had planned... I'll keep working on it.
  • Start the couch 2 5k running program.   EPIC FAIL-- Theres always December, right? Better make that January...
  • Walk my dogs more often. I rocked this one! We've been taking the boys out twice a day... and they love it! Not to mention my fat precious Zebbie has totally lost some lbs.
  • Bake something delicious once a week. Nothing too fancy, cupcakes, pies, brownies, etc. but still, I baked!
  • Make myself a fabulous header. In the works.
  • Get a 2nd job. Nothing yet... can't say I've been look that hard.

Music on Repeat:
Benny Benassi, Lady Gaga, MILEY CRYUS

What I Ate:
lots of chicken

lots of starch- potatos, pasta
lots of beer... which explains my sudden weight gain

Favourite Songs:

Tiny Dancer - Elton John/Tim McGraw
Illusion - Benny Benassi

Watcha Say- Jason Derulo
Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus

Best Movies I Watched:


What I Did:
Drank beer and got fat... attempted to clean with no success, hated my job.

Overall Mood:
Content but blah it that makes any sense at all


Happy Thanksgiving!

Eat lots of pie for me!!
{I make a mean pie, but I don't like them so I never eat them}

Watch or play lots of football.
Make sure you share the bird with your everyone in your family
{including furry family members}

Whats your favorite dish?
Mine is a tie: corn & mashed potatos!

Be thankful :) 



May I have your Attention, please!

The fabulous Beth, author of Social Climbers is holding a giveaway!

I really feel that you should stop whatever your doing and

The lucky winner will receive:

1. A Preppy Monogrammed Car Decal
2. Votre Vu Duette Luxe Lip Balm and Hand Crème

I've been dying to read her book! R's side of the family does secret santa every year and this was one of the items on my wish list.... but I figure, can't hurt to enter.
I mean, I never win anything.

{Although, I would't mind}


This one time I got an award and it took me forever to do it...

About two weeks ago, a lovely lady by the name of


was sweet enough to give me an award!

Be sure you check out her blog- Livin just like Grandma - not only because it's awesome, BUT because there are some amazing Thanksgiving recipes like: the sweet potato casserole I just made & pecan pie that looks absolutely mouthwatering! I promise you won't be disappointed  ;)

::On to the goodies::


1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who's given it to you, along with the link to his or her blog.
2. Pass the award to seven other blogs you enjoy.
3.Contact those bloggers to let them know they've been chosen for this award.

7 Lovely Blogs

Enjoy Friends :)


pardon me while I go harvest my blueberries...

I'm a Loser.

I would like to thank the creators of Farmville, for turning me into said loser.

Why? Why do I plan my entire day around the most convenient time to harvest my crops? Why do I insist on having exactly the same amount of each tree so that my farm looks cute? Why have I let this stupid game take over my life? Why can't I just sssssssttttttoooooopppp?


IT HERE (well, in less than 12 hours)

"Option three: Edward loved me. The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time. And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant or perfect than me he might be, he was as irreversibly altered as I was. As I would always belong to him, so would he always be mine."


1 Day

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."


2 Days

"I’d never seen anything more beautiful—even as I ran, gasping and screaming, I could appreciate that. And the last seven months meant nothing. And his words in the forest meant nothing. And it did not matter if he did not want me. I would never want anything but him, no matter how long I lived."


3 Days

"I don’t think he ever planned to outlive you by long. We may already be too late. I saw him going to the Volturi… and asking to die."


4 Days

"I guessed that, between the two choices before me, being eaten by wolves was almost certainly the worse option."


5 Days

"I’m quite thirsty, and you do smell… simply mouthwatering."


6 Days

" He was my best friend. I would always love him, and it would never, ever be enough."


7 Days

"I promise that this will be the last time you’ll see me. I won’t come back. I won’t put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I’d never existed."


8 Days

"Dazed and disoriented, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm — into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires."


9 Days

"Edward had drawn many careful lines for our physical relationship, with the intent being to keep me alive. Though I respected the need for maintaining a safe distance between my skin and his razor-sharp, venom-coated teeth, I tended to forget about trivial things like that when he was kissing me."


10 Days

"I didn’t have to look to know who it was; this was a voice I would know anywhere—know, and respond to, whether I was awake or asleep… or even dead, I’d bet. The voice I’d walk through fire for—or, less dramatically, slosh every day through the cold and endless rain for. Edward."


Moving Sucks... I think I'll Procrastinate Instead

Good Evening Friends
I hope your having a fabulous & exciting weekend!

While I should be unpacking the shit that's been strewn all over my new abode, I find myself laying in bed... with absolutely no desire to ever unpack not feeling well.
Everyone knows how to cure a sickness...
Sex and the City and Christmas Ale 
{of course}

{can you really resist a label like that? I didn't think so}

p.s. I STRONGLY recommend getting your New Moon tickets right now... due to many of the showings already selling out.

p.p.s. Don't worry, I already have mine, for the midnight showing of course ;) 

p.p.p.s Have a Wonderful Night, Darlings!


I've Been AWARDED :)

A very very big THANK YOU is in order
for a very special gal named

who, on top of being fabulous... was sweet enough to give me my first ever award!
So before I get to the good stuff, I am going to force strongly encourage you to visit her blog.
{click the link above... you know you want to}

OK here's the rules......
1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know.
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they've been nominated.

Here's my 7
1. I used to go to the movies by myself all the time & I never realized that was a weird thing to do
2. I was born & raised in Pniewo, Poland- i ♥ it there
3. The first time I ate pizza or taco bell was when I was a freshman in college
4. I have never broken any bones
5. If Hogwarts existed, I would be Slytherin- according to the sorting hat online
6. I am addicted to hot tea, I drink it all day every day, even in the summer
7. Im 22 and I still can't manage to properly curl my hair :(

Im passing it on to
1. Hot Piece of Sass

Now stop what your doing and check out these amazing blogs!


Mr. & Mrs. Gkilla

Classy, I know.


Guess what I got...

The keys to our apartment a week early! After some negotiating with my boss, I decided that I just couldn't wait any longer and I needed them on Monday. So I got them, because I agreed to paint & clean my own apartment (for a free month of rent!)

Was it worth it? Yes... and no. Its great to get to move in earlier, especially because we have such a busy week BUT the previous tenant was disgusting- I have pictures I would post but y'all would probably think I was crazy for agreeing to cleaning this place myself. Yeah, it's pretty bad. But I have faith that with some major TLC & maybe a few miracles, it will feel like home.

So last night we packed up some things: clothes, toothbrushes, shower stuff, bed stuff, my computer, wine, snacks, twilight/sex & the city dvd's etc., drove to Wally (Walmart) and picked up some essintials and headed over to our new place.

I swept the floors, made our "bed" (a ton of comforters and blankets on the floor) set up my computer so we could listen to some tunes and watch movies later on and popped a frozen pizza in the oven. We got to work painting what will be our bedroom after eating some pizza. 15 minutes later I decided that I hated painting walls.

After about 2 hours we were finally DONE with our room, called it quits, and celebrated with some snacks and a bottle of ice wine we got as a wedding gift :) I also convinced R that it would be much easier for him to paint if I wasn't in his way and I started cleaning instead... and because he loves me he agreed- but made me promise I would do the trim. So tonight, I tackle the bathroom with an army of bleach, windex, and about 100 magic erasers.


November 09 Goals

I skipped October becuase I knew I was going to be swamped with wedding stuff. I suck, I know.
Lets start fresh with November, shall we?

  • Send out wedding thank you's. It may seem pathetic that this is one of my goals. I should want to thank all the wonderful people that helped make our big day so special. Instead, I am dreading the writers block and hand cramps that I foresee in my near future :(
  • Read 3 books. Because knowledge is power people! And because so many good ones were recently released.
  • Get back into the morning routine. Now that R and I are married & rested, its time to get back to the grind. We need to wake up when the alarm actually rings, and I need to do simple things like make his lunch & iron his clothes the night before instead of running around like a crazy woman 5 mins before we are supposed to leave the house.
  • Eat Breakfast every morning.  I seriously suck at this- it's only the most important meal of the day! I really need to get my metabolism going in the a.m. rather than waiting til oh... noonish.
  • Start the couch 2 5k running program. I'm stealing this from C at Classically Modern. NEST. Im not a big runner (partly because I'm lazy and partly because I have asthma) but I would like to try this program out. Read all about it here.
  • Walk my dogs more often. Because I love them and they deserve it.
  • Bake something delicious once a week. I'm a much better baker than I am cook, not to mention my boys all love sweets. (furry ones included)
  • Make myself a fabulous header. It's time I fire up illustrator and give my sorry looking blog header a fresh look! 
  • Get a 2nd job. I've been thinking about getting a 2nd job as a bartender when we move to Lakewood a few nights a week. My plan is to spend this $$ only on credit card bills to get rid of them faster.
Wish me luck friends!
Do you have any special goals for this month?



Happy Halloween


{Stay Safe my Loves}

{Wishin y'all lots of treats}


Lets Get Spooky

Get excited friends, Halloween is right around the corner! I hope your fabulous costume is ready and you've filled your candy bowl with treats for all those hungry little kiddies.

R & I will be attending a Halloween party tonight with alot of my foreign friends (and by foreign I mean Polish-- did I ever mention I was born there, if not, now you know).  Because most of them are totally oblivious to True Blood, we decided to go as something else becuase no one would know who we were, but no worries, we are saving those costumes for tomorrow.

For tonight's party, I am going to be "ghetto" (complete with corn rows, neck tattoo & bling bling) and R is going to be my coke dealing man-on-the-side.

Look for pics, from the festivities in a few days & I can't wait to see all of yours!



pardon my dust

I've never really seen satisfied with my blog's look since I started it, but I think I have finally figured out what I want to do to it. Please bear with me over the next week or so while im trying to figure things out!
Thanks Lovahs!


Its Official

We're Moving!!

And while I'm not excited to be paying rent and a cable bill, I am so freaking happy that I won't be living with my parents any longer! Don't get me wrong, Hanna and Pawel are great- they did birth me and all, but I would rather staple myself than live with them for another month. Not to mention, I get along with my parents much better when I'm not under their roof. (Hanna gives me attitude when I crack open A beer- its like I'm drinking bleach or something... "your too young to drink" ummmmm hello I'm 22, remember?)

I can't wait to decorate the new apt, which is a super cute, vintage style, 2 bedroom- complete with hardwood floors, faux fireplace, & did I mention it's basically on the lake? It's not only bigger than our past apt, it's also wayy cheaper (proabaly because the company I work for owns the building and because I'm the best office admin EVER, they cut me a sweet deal) I also love that every-single-tenant- living in this building has a dog, so Bear and Zeb will have plenty of furry friends running around.

Tentative move-in date is Nov 3rd, and the big move happens on the 5th. The best part of this whole thing might be that R has agreed to let me redo all our furniture DIY style!! I'm so excited that our furniture will finally match, plus with the lack of wedding stuff to keep me busy I've been very bored lately. (Anyone need invitations, flower, or centerpieces made? ANYTHING???)  Hopefully our next move will be to my future Floridian Palace-- keep your fingers crossed!


Halloween is the one night a year when you can dress like a total slut and no one can say anything about it.

Ohhhhhhhh Mean Girls.

The title of this post is actually a quote from the movie, which I totally want to watch now! Alas, this year, I will NOT be releasing my inner slut on Halloween, but I am going to dress like someone on T.V! So, without further ado...

I will be wearing this:

with these:

and this:

and look like:

Sookie Stackhouse from HBO's True Blood!

Before I start, if you haven't seen True Blood you NEED TO WATCH IT! It's one of my favorite shows :) My shirt has already arrived ($13 from Ebay) I've had the shorts for about 2 years, and I was a waitress for a loooooong time so I own the apron. Im thinking of maybe adding some bite marks to it? I love Halloween and dressing up :)  R is going to be Bill Compton a.k.a. Vampire Bill (Sookies lover) and NO I didn't force it on him! He likes the idea because all he really has to to is wear dark clothes and he doesn't really need an actual costume. He's a cheater, I know. So Lovah's, what are y'all going to be?


Spending Money Hurts So Good

If only money grew on trees...

While I should be saving money so that we can buy a house, I have been making a lot of purchases lately. Sure it's only a couple bucks: $13 for my "Merlotte's" t-shirt (because I'm going to be Sookie Stackhouse for halloween!) $55 for the Bearpaw boots which I totally needed, $65 for our thank you cards which I have yet to start writing out...

and now I find myself lusting over this beauty. I need want it. (really, really bad)

I think I can spare another $20, right?

I know you want one too, find it here. Thank you, White House | Black Market for being fabulous.



god bless whoever created midnight showings at movie theaters

Tonight, R & I have tickets to see this bad boy

Yes, Saw VI and more importantly, yes, at midnight.

I love going to midnight showings of movies. I love getting there super early. I love the excitement and anticipation. I love the ridiculously overpriced theatre food. But most of all, I love it when people dress up like characters from the movie.

My favorite midnight showing of all time would have to be a tie between Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets & The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. I'll admit that I might have taken a picture with the teenage girl that had cut her hair and dyed it bleach blonde to look like Draco Malfoy's... and that I bought the "Cedric Lives" arm band she and her friends were selling... and that I recorded them acting out scenes from the book before the movie started. And you can't blame me for taking a picture of the really hot guy that looked like Legolas and setting it as the background on my cell phone, right? Theres just something about midnight showings of movies that I absolutely love, I can't help it!

So, because im a huge LOSER movie buff, I'm totally excited to see SAW VI, and im hoping someone dresses like Jigsaw or Amanda or at least carries around fake body parts or something. And if you think this is bad, wait til you hear what I have to say about New Moon!



My neighbors are the kind of people that would have double-hiccup/grunt sex

Before I begin I would like to note that this post was inspired by one of my favorite bloggers & one sassy girl... check out the post that started it all: Sex:101.

Meet Kevin: Kevin is tall. He wears these every single day.

Seriously, everyday... including when it's snowing. He might weigh less than I do, which is pathetic. Every morning, Kevin wakes up, puts on the same pair of black mesh Adidas shorts with white stripes and goes outside to water his lawn. Actually, he waters the same spot for literally 15 minutes, even when its raining. Did I mention that the grass is perfectly fine? I'm not actually sure if he has a job because he is ALWAYS home. Kevin never has friends over, but I have seen his mother visit twice.

Kevin is married. Hiw wife is about 2.5 feet shorter than he is. She has blond hair. I don't know her name, come to think of it i've never actually heard her speak. We'll call her Mute Blonde. I think Mute Blonde works at a bank, at least that's what my nosey 13-year-old-sister told me. Like Kevin, she has a great sense of style. She wears black dress pants and a cardigan to work and changes into yoga pants & a cami when she gets home. Hey, at least she switches up the color of the yoga pants, right? Mute Blonde waters the "lawn spot" in the evening, after she gets home from work. Yes, she also waters it in the rain. I have never seen her friends of family over.

I have never heard Kevin speak to Mute Blonde. I have also never seen them touch each other/show affection. I mean, don't get me wrong... they obviously speak to each other, I've just never actually seen it happen. Kevin and Mute Blonde are probably somewhere around 26ish years old. They should be having a great time in bed, alas, the above leads me to believe their sex life sucks.

I wonder how they met. If it was magical & they knew they were soul mates... what types of dates they went on. I wonder how he proposed, and whether she said yes or wrote it on a post it note since she doesn't speak in public. They just seem so boring & weird...do you think they realize they are boring & weird? And for the love of God, what is the deal with the lawn spot? It's almost winter... the grass is going to die anyways.


Im Back!

I can't begin to express how amazing it feels to have nothing to do.

R and I have oficially been married for 8 days now and for the past 8 days I have laid around the house, caught up on my tv shows thanks to the internet, read, drank lots of wine, eaten way too much food.

and did I mention slept. alot.

People keep asking me how it feels to be married. I don't think it feels any different. I mean, I've been with R for the past 5ish years, we've already lived together, so it wasn't really that different. I came home from our mini-moon and did 8 loads of laundry. Same old with a little extra bling bling I guess.

But anyways, now that I'm wed I have no more excuses and I promise to actually post on my blog! Oh and I'm also making my big comeback to the gym tomorrow haha. See you tomorrow people!

-The Newlyweds


In case you missed it, I fell off the planet / Goals

Hey World, forvive me for not being around much lately but I swear I have been EXTRA, super busy. With what you might ask? Well wedding stuff of course. It has taken over my life. 9 days and I have 3489572347805617802346 things left to do! Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Speaking of wedding days the weather on mine as of today looks like this...

Awesome, Right?

I really really need it to either not rain at all so we can take pretty pictures outside with all the leaves changing and the beautiful, rich colors
it needs to downpour like a mother fucker becuase if it rains a certain amount, my engagement ring is FREE.
So lets make it happen weather.

Anyways, I've been dying to show all of you the progress we have been making on all the wedding details BUT- I've decided im going to do individual posts instead. Not only will it be dramatic and suspenseful but it is alot to look at. It's almost too good to be true that in 9 days I'll be done with cardstock, gluedots, tulle, candles, gowns, tux's and eeeeevvvveeerrrryyyything else. But until then, I hate to say that I'll be missing for a little while longer. Before I go, let me bring you up to speed with how Sept's goals went and what I have in store for October...

September 09 Recap

  1. Actually get up when my alarm goes off: This one went really really well at first. R and I were getting up on the first ring with no problems.... and then things started going downhill from there. I've just been so tired thanks to staying up until forever each night doing wedding stuff! This girl needs some more ZZZ's, or im going to look like the corpse bride :(

  2. Go to the gym 5x a week: HA. This one started out out good as well. I was going to the gym 5 days a week for about 2 and a half weeks and I tapered off. By the end of September both R & I had stopped going all together becuase we were so freakin busy. so gym = epic fail.

  3. Read 2 Books: This one was actually easy. I read 2 books this month: Untamed - the fourth installment of the House of Night Series by P.C. Cast and My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler. Both were pretty good. Both are reads I would recommend.

  4. Cook Dinner 4x a week: While I didnt cook 4x a week every week I did average 2 dinners and a breakfast here and there. I wouldn't say it was a complete success, but I don't think it was a fail either. I'll be posting my favorite recipe later on so you can try it!

  5. Revamp mine and R's resumes: didn't get to it. But in my defense this wasn't really a top priority.

Music on Repeat:
Basshunter, Anna Nalick, and Bob Marley
What I Ate:
bologna & cheese sandwiches with 1 peice of cread and no mayo or butter
homemade pizza
lots of cheese

Favourite Songs:
3 little birds - Bob Marley
Now your gone - Basshunter

Best Movies I Watched:
Love, Actually and Mamma Mia! we watched all the batmans, all the X-Men movies, and are now watching all the Saws, R's choice, not mine.

What I Did:
Bought wedding stuff, made wedding stuff, thought about wedding stuff, dreamt about wedding stuff, etc.

Overall Mood:
So very tired.


Weddings, Gin, & Cabbage Boobs

So I've finally had some time to myself after a very looooong weekend/week. I'll recap the last week or so with a list-- because I love them.

  • Friday: R and I had plans to meet his sister and her boyfriend in Sandusky around 1. That morning, my mom (Hanna) and I drove out to Avon to talk to a catering company about ordering a couple dishes for the wedding. The pain in the ass 40 min trip turned out be a success. On the way back home, Hanna thought it would be a good idea to stop at the mall to do some mother/daughter bonding. Well who am I to refuse? So we stopped and shopped and we ended up home an hour and a half later then we had planned. Naturally, R was livid that I was late... blah blah blah. I tried to explain that I got him a really nice outfit for his stepsister's wedding we were going to that weekend ($100 dress pants for $16.50, how can you beat that?) but he was not having it. So he was mad and pouty and then he got over it, because he always does and we finally made it to Sandusky. That night, we went to Cedar Point which was awesome. The lines were super short! We stopped at Walmart on our way back to the hotel room to stock up on the 5 basic food groups: chips, candy, cheap wine, beer, and advil. We ate. We Drank. We went to bed.
  • Saturday: We all woke up and went to breakfast with R's dad. Then spent the day hanging out outside at the pool, mainly because it was heated and had a swim up bar. We got ready and went to the wedding. It might have been the shortest ceremony I have ever seen. Literally 3 minutes... IF that. But, the bride was beautiful, the groom was handsome and the reception was open bar. This is were I reunite with my ex- gin... somehow he manages to follow me to the karaoke bar we went to after the reception. We have a great time. Fast forward to the cab ride back to the hotel. Everyone is drunk. R's sister was a train wreck. She can barely walk, shes slurring, crying, throwing up on everything, etc. We get her back to the hotel and somehow manage to undress her--I have now officially seen my future sister in law naked. We manage to get her to sleep and then pass out ourselves.
  • Sunday: R and I wake up, and we immediately regret it. But unfortunately we have to drive back home so we can go to our Pre Cana catholic marriage thing. You have to do it or you can't get married. I'm really hating gin at this point- splitting headache, aching body, basically worst hangover ever. We go to this marriage thing which was basically married couples with a minimum of 6 children telling us about natural family planning. I am still convinced it was just another way for the church to recruit for the catholic army. All they want is your money and spawn. But anyways, we manage to get through the torture and go home and pass the fuck out.
  • The rest of the week is really dull so I will give you the abridged version: Work, errands, wedding stuff, and wishing I still had a life.
Today I finally had a chance to catch up on reading blogs and I just have to share this post by Lisa at Lemon Gloria. Lisa just had a baby (Congrats) and she has the most hilarious stories about life after her pregnancy. Her most recent post was about breastfeeding. Shes mentioned that she had found a remedy for engorged breasts that involved putting cabbage leaves. Naturally, I just had to check this out becuase it sounds ridiculous. Here are the details via mother-2-mother.com:

To use cabbage compresses for engorgement:
Wash a fresh head of green cabbage and place cabbage in refrigerator to chill. Just before use, crush the veins with a rolling pin or similar object or slice off the tops of the "veins" with a sharp knife, whatever makes the leaves shape to your breast most easily.
Drape one or two leaves over each breast, covering ALL of the engorged area. Leave on until they become wilted, about 20 to 30 minutes. Repeat three or four times within a 24 hour period, or until engorgement subsides. This will usually be within one to two days. If the engorgement is severe, compresses can be used as often as every 4 hours, but care should be taken as there is indication that cabbage leaves can work TOO well and end up reducing mother’s milk supply.
I'd really like to know who is responsibly for this remedy and how they discovered it. And no, those are not my boobs.


As it turns out, gin is poison

Dear World,

I am so hungover. This morning, I decided that I'm going to have to breakup with beefeater. I promise, I will post later when the pounding in my head stops, and I regain feeling in my body.




For the Love of Lauren Conrad

I'm sure you all have seen this beauty on bookstore shelves near you. Whatever LC, you are no fashion designer, celebrity and you are most certainly not an author.

Today, I take a stroll through my favorite store of all time, Borders and discover:

are you fucking serious?


It's Just one of Those Days

Right now, I wish I could put everything hold for oh, say, forever and just lay around on my bed in my underwear litsening to the rain with bob marley on repete.

If only it was that easy, right? Tonight, R and I have to go to a dinner with some of the doctors he works with. I believe that his coworkers will be in attencance as well. I'm not really a fan of most of them. On the upside, we are going to a brewery... on the downside, we are going to a brewery. I love beer, but it does me dirty.

Sorry for being so blah. I've just been so tired lately. Maybe it's the weather, maybe its the 6 hours I spent last night tying 200ish bows on wedding bubbles, maybe its my guest list which is spiraling out of control. Can anyone explain how I went from 250 guests to 330 guests? I'm not even really sure I know 330 people. Oh well...

The good news is: R and I got the vases for our short centerpieces for $1 each. I'll reveal that surprise later, darlings :)

I'm also looking forward to this weekend. I took Friday and Sunday off. R and I will be spending most of the weekend in Sandusky with his sister and her beau. Friday we will all be hanging out lakeside and later on we are going to Cedar Point, which is a pretty cool amusement park. Saturday, we are going to his step sisters. Unfortunately, Sunday R and I have to go to this Pre Cana thing catholic people have to go to so they can get married. Im not so sure spending the day with religious fanatics is such a good idea after a wedding.

Luckily, God hates me already so he should understand, Thanks G-Man.

So until then, I'm here in the office, listening to "three little birds" wishing I was lounging around somewhere far, far, away in my underwear.



I dream of...


Yes, you heard right. Last night, I had a dream nightmare that Zombies took over the world and were chasing me. Of course, like in all nightmares I was never able to get away.

Clearly, this is a sign... either I really should wear those Zombie Heels under my dress, or this was Michael Jackson's way of telling me that my bridesmaids and I need to dance to thriller at my wedding.

I'm thinking probably both.


Wedding Shoes

I love shoes. I've never met a girl who doesn't. But how does a girl decide on the perfect shoes for the perfect day? Apparently by searching the internet for 23057237 hours.

Here's my issue...
R is around 5'11''
I am around 5'7"
A killer pair of heels is around 5"

Put it all together and I end up being as tall or sometimes taller that R which I absolutely, positively, will not allow. ever.

Not that is really matters because my dress is long and poofy and you will never be able to see my shoes. But that's not the point. The point is: I still want to wear a fabulous pair of shoes with bright colors and weird designs that are totally not traditional at all!

While I would love to wear some crazy, make your ass look like its on a pedestal stilettos... I simply cannot. Yes, I know they have shoes with smaller heels... but those are just weird. Midget heels? ewww.

So, I must sadly wave goodbye to the Lanvin Sequened Heels, the Christian Dior Feather Slingback, the Zombie Stomper Platform Peep-Toes, the Christian Louboutin Trash Shoes, the Green Leopard Print Peep-Toes the Miu Miu Sequened Splendor, and the Lamborghini Heels.

I will probably have to settle for these :(


The Work Diaries - Entry 3

So I'm sitting at my desk staring at my new "office pet": A gorgeous blue beta fish, floating around happily in his tank. I got him 2 days ago, after I decided my desk was too empty. The entire office sat down to pick a name for him. It was between Cheeseburger and Godzilla. After about an hour of arguing, we finally decided on Grundlestiltzkin.

But anyways, im sitting at my desk, watching the fish hide in his aquatic plants, eating my sandwich and listening to Bob Marley when this guy walks in.

We'll call him Bryan, with a y not Brian with an i. Bryan looks like hes about 24, tall, skinny, and extremely flamboyant. Hes got on Dolce & Gabanna sunglasses, probably womens, True Religion jeans, an LV shirt and a hat thing from Banana Republic. Bryan has a higher pitched voice then I do. He is also toting around a tiny brown chihuahua in a pink sweater named Coco. Coco is a boy. His nails were painted pink. Coco is probably gay too.

Im so interested in this duo that I totally don't notice Bryan is carring a tall plastic container. So I start the usual conversation, trying to figure out why Bryan is bothering me while im trying to eat my sandwich when he just puts his hand up and says "Uh-no. SHUT UP."

He walks over to me and slams the plastic container down on my desk. I roll over closer to examine it and look down.

What did I find? A giant...

And yes, it was alive and crawling around in all of its supreme grossness. I fucking hate bugs. Thank god Bryan didnt just walk in here with a centipede because shit would have hit the fan.

I think I might have spit out half of my sandwich at him after I realized what his little surprise was.

Then, Bryan says, "Yeah, I like totally fucking thought so. Yesterday, this crawled over my face! Do you know how ICKY that is? OMG I soaked in a tub for like an hour and I still feel gross! EWWWWW! Im leaving this here and going home. Call the exterminator, and make sure hes at my apartment in like an hour or I will SCREAM!"

And so, Bryan turned on his heel and he and Coco stormed out, leaving the cockroach on my desk.

Luckily, Harold... may favorite maintenance guy witnessd the whole thing and disposed of the roach for me. (he also complimented me on my hair today. He is Puerto Rican and sounds like Antonio Banderas, and I love him.)



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