On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad are you?

Tonight, I'll begin with some praise... but I also wish to share some frustration with you, dear readers.

I find dogs to be extremely intelligent.

What I like most about them is that they really do act like people.

They learn.

They have feelings.

They have likes and dislikes.

They love.

{you get it}

EXIHIBIT A

You've met Bear.

{that yellow thing- corn on the cob he stole}

Besides thievery, Bear enjoys:

chasing after squirrels at top speed

biting his nails

chewing on bones

pretending hes a lap dog

begging for food

laying on forbidden things like the couches/bed

Hes figured out how to use his good looks to his advantage...

He knows if he does something cute like say, give you a high five

he will not only get praise, but also food.

He knows R doesn't mind him on the bed at night...

so he waits until I fall asleep to get on it.

He doesn't like being alone

and crys like a baby.

He can tell when we are feeling down

and then hes extra cuddly.

All in all, I would completely argue that my dog is a prodigy.

however,

Sometimes, my dog is so fucking dumb

I just want to kick his ass.

LIKE WHEN HE EATS CAT SHIT OUT OF THE LITTER BOX.

{sigh}